a remembrance

Today i am recalling those instances of first love. these ideas are brought to my attention by the movie eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. granted that is just a movie, but i think that some of the concepts touched on are incredibly apt and correct. for instance, remembering that first touch, the first moment of contact when the beginning of a relationship comes about. there is something magical about those moments that remains etched in memory. that sickening expectancy, the intense anxiety, and of course those first moments when you touch, when the other persons body seems like a unknown relic waiting to be explored. who doesn't love those moments? the time that it takes to know someone can be endless, but i find it interesting how when you fall in love, how quickly that feeling of laying next to a stranger ends. the days then become one of not only physical intimacy, but also one of mental intimacy. of knowing your partner, their ideas and thoughts, their personage.
i have been lucky enough to have fallen in love several times in my life. many people do not get to enjoy that at all. so i sometimes take it for granted that my loved one is there laying next to me, sleeping in the same bed. but there are those moments when i am so overcome by how lucky i am to have found the person that i am with. mostly i find that emotion when i am walking home from work. the twenty minute walk both ways is some of the greatest quality time i get to myself. my headphones in, strolling at a loping pace, pondering my position in life. all of this is accompanied by a soundtrack, lately a rather melancholy one of sparklehorse and papercuts.
but, i think that we have a tendency to become so comfortable that we take our lovers for granted. not in a physical sense per se, but in the sense that we don't always acknowledge how great a person can be. thats all.

hearts and daggers,

scot